Thanks Naan

When seeing it was bread week on GBBO, I have to admit I was a little apprehensive. Never have I made any sort of bread. In previous years I have watched people on the show build lions, flowers and towers galore out of bread. I started thinking that whatever I made would be flat as a pancake. Then, as if by magic they say the technical challenge is a naan bread. What a touch. I purposely have to make it flat. 

I will say, I started the week in a much better place. Finally, the stressed 20 month old has started to understand that he needs food to survive. My husband and I still refuse to make eye contact with him when he’s in the highchair. Instead we catch a sneaky look at one another with a half smirk, pleased that he’s returned to his former self. Equally both too petrified to actually say it, in case it backfires. A lot of credit has to go to Dave though. Dave is his new best friend. Of all the toys he has, we were walking along the road in Brean Sands on the weekend and found a cheap looking, overused action figure. He’s full of muscles, has a great jaw line and is even missing half his ear. While a dog has probably chewed him at some point, I like to imagine he’s just a guy that’s been in a fight after a few beers on a Saturday night. Dave has now settled into family life at the Turner’s. He’s had numerous rides on the tractor and in the car, regularly straddles the Tiger, which magically turns into a ‘hawsey’ when galloping. He has even had a stand off with a rhino and crocodile. Again, Dave continues to prove his masculinity in many ways. Even when he’s sat on the floor of my shower, while I’m washing my hair. Hmmmm. Still, Dave is the reason that food is starting to be consumed again. Dave had a crumpet, so we all had a crumpet. Stress levels low, I started the technical this week at the same time as baking a couple of sponges. 3 cakes needed for the weekend, so I had to multitask. Not only was I calmer as a result of Dave, I was also thrilled with the cost of this weeks challenge. The only ingredients I needed to get were coriander, garlic and Ghee. Ghee, heart attack in a tin. 99.8g of fat per 100g. When opening it and looking into the tin, I imagined that anyone who ate it regularly would literally have arteries full of it. I set the timer for 1 hour. Brilliant, I thought. An extra episode of Love Island Australia, as I would be finished in no time. Popped all of the ingredients in a bowl and mixed. Easy. Then had to start kneading. For years and years of my youth, I watched my Nan kneading various doughs. She baked part-time as a job but full-time as a wife, mum, Nan, friend and neighbour. For the first 16 years of my life, I was lucky enough to live next door to my Nan. The only thing that separated us was a Pig shed. This sounds random I know. It’s not, my grandad kept pigs and sold piglets at market as a hobby. Although, as I’ve got older I have started to wonder whether he only did this so he could have a sneaky cigar and chocolate bar in the pig shed when my Nan wasn’t looking. There’s no pigs anymore but he’s still sneaking chocolate here and there. Another thing that’s continued is the baking. It’s never a surprise to pop in and find 10 Apple Pies on the side. Don’t worry these aren’t all for my Grandad, my Nan isn’t a feeder. Although he would definitely give it a go. Nan supplies most of the village with various bakes. I’d love to say that I started baking with her as a child. I wish I had. But no, as you know it’s a recent thing. I’m not sure anyone in my family would have put me down to follow in my Nan’s footsteps. My sister, maybe. She was always far more maternal and into nice things like baking, which was just as well as my Nan has 12 grandchildren altogether. Plenty of dirty nappies for my sister to help change. Unfortunately, after said sister gave birth to her second child, I think she also gave birth to her maternal nature. It’s gone. I on the other hand found mine when watching both my niece and nephew be born. She almost put me off when she put her son in my arms about 20 minutes after he was born. I loved him but just not the smell of him. Still I smiled and gave him a kiss. That’s a good sister / Auntie for you! One of my favourite things about my Nan baking, was when she brought the ‘tester’ loaf home on a Friday. I would literally make a whole in the side and eat all of the bread out of the middle. Even the thought of it makes me bloat now. Oh to be a skinny child again! Anyway, I started kneading the dough as my Nan would. Then I popped it in a bowl and into the warming drawer to prove. Check me out. Sound like I know what I’m on about don’t I? Got it out, no change. Oh well it looked professional for the video (yes, husband on the camera again). Rolled the dough into ‘saggy skulls’, as described by Noel on GBBO. Added garlic, coriander and some artery clogger. Popped on a hot grill tray. Got it out and it looked amazing. Back in the game. Now I want curry and naan. Lots of naan. They tasted great. What wasn’t so great... sleeping in what smelt like a field of garlic. Whole house stank. I’m sure I stank. Thankfully, I don’t work on a Thursday. I can relax for another week. Not about a fat club. Not about highchair phobia. Not about Dave catching a sneaky look at me in the shower. No, I can relax in knowing that I have smashed the technical. Again no one here to confirm that, as I’m not on the bloody show. For this one though, I’ll thank my Nan for somehow passing down her bread making skills. An amazing baker. An amazing Nan!